To my Daugher, Emma

Write the Small plates

Last week in YW's Marilynn Williams came and gave my girls some ideas about keeping a journal. She recommended writing to your future daughters. I told my YW that I would be better about keeping my journal. So Emma, this is for you so you will know the thoughts of my heart. I will start with the your story. Last year, your dad and I decided that we really wanted another child and that we maybe getting to old soon to raise a baby. We wanted to try every idea we could to get a baby for one year, if it worked and we got one or three we would be happy. I we had none we would know our family was complete the way it was. Ed Kehl mentioned that he knew of a baby that was to be born soon that needed a home. The mother was in prison for Meth drug use. We met with the family and the grandmother and they said we could have this baby, at least for 6 months, and maybe forever. This baby was born, we went and hugged him and set up our house for a little boy. The mother was to stay out of prison after birth for 10 days and then he would come to live with us. Seth was so excited. He showed everyone pictures of him holding his new brother. Then after a week we got a call from the grandma telling us they didn't need us any more. The mother was released from prison to take care of her baby. We were heart broken. I was pregnant with you at the time, we had not told any one. Since I had been pregnant so many times I really didn't think this would mean we would have a baby to love. Our doctor and nurse are very much a part of our lives. Cindy our nurse had a dream 4 years earlier that I would have another child. She talked with Dr Terry about the idea of putting me on Heporin to try to keep the babies from miscarring. I had 3 miscarages since Seth, you were my 14th pregnance to date, I think. I called Cindy and told her I was pregnant and I need to get the supplies to start the twice daily shots of Heporin. They were painful. When you were about 6 months along, you jumped with I would get a shot. I think they must have hurt you too. I had stress tests weekly, tons of ultra sounds, and blessings. You were born healthy and strong on Oct 22 2008 after 24hrs of hard labor. I cried happy tears for my second huge miracle from heaven. YOU!!! I am so glad to be your mother. You are amazing. Seth calls you Gorgeous and Precious. I agree. As your family we couldn't be more blessed.

Emma Beth

feeling the squeeze

So this is the year we, Dave and I, decided this would be the year. If we have a baby by christmas happy day, if we have lots of babies by christmas even better. But after that we are ready to through in the towel and leave it to the young people.

We offered to take a baby whos mother was addicted to Meth. She was in jail and not going to be able to take care of him. It may have been perminant maybe not. He was born we hugged him and sent out photos of him to our family. We were all ready and a day before we were to get him at our house the mother called and said we were not going to get them.

I had a feeling that something would work out. I knew I was pregnant. but thought we had a better chance on not planning on the pregnance working. I have had 1 baby, 9 d and C surgeries for misscarages and a few pregnancies that didn't need a D & C. So this was probably number 14

The condo's getting tight for the both of us, me and Emma Beth. I am tired of the shots and discomfort of basic movement and breathing. I am so excited to have her in our home just can't wait. I am so glad for the Lords blessing us with this baby at this time. I hope that she comes with tons of love and laughter.

The other day I got a shot in the stomach and it kept bleeding. Seth looked into the whole the blood was coming out and said" Emma can you see me"....

15 wonderful years

"Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just like people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, and most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is just like an old time rail journey ... delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride." Pres. Hickley



Dave and I have been married for 15 wonderful years. He is the love of my life. I adore him and lucky enough I feel he adores me.

I remember when we first got married. We were so broke and so happy. Dave was just home from his mission. He was working for Dave Meir laying carpet and going to schoool. I was a waitress at Archibalds and also attending school. We figured that with both of our 2 incomes we would have just enough money to make rent, (325.00 a month) and have about 100.00 left over to pay utilities buy gas.

Not much has changed. We are still happy and so busy and still feel broke just on a different scale. We work so hard every day. We have a hard time finding the time for the things that are the most important, each other. But we work through a lot of work related problems daily with our 4 businesses. I feel like I spend a lot of time nagging as I ask for help with these. Together, we are raising a wonderful child which we agree and disagree about how to raise all the time.

The best parts of life are the little time we do get to spend together, snowmobiling up some steep snowy treed mountain, going out with friends, playing games he alsways wins and cuddling on the couch to watch TV. I enjoy being his wife. He is very encouraging and loving to me in our life. He always has more faith than I do in me. I come from a long line of great loves stories. My Parent who continue to hang in, My Grandma Orla and Grandpa Chris great high school sweet hearts, Grandma Farmor who know how to truely love all around her. I feel just as my Great Grandmother Clyde once wrote to her love Orial William: I adore you. Dave, I truely adore you. I love the whole ride, the ups and downs, the hard spins the fast fun straight aways. Mostly Dave, I love you, all of you.

cowboy up!!

Heehaw what a time. All the cowboys and cowgirls came out tonight to dance by the light of the moon. Great birthday party on Monday afternoon. It was fun.

Here's what we did:
Gave hats (to cowboy up)
Played pin the badge on the sheriff (used bandannas over there eyes, they got to keep it and be villains and wear them over there nose and mouth for a while)
3 legged horse stampede (had a three legged run to the rattle snake game)
rattle snake rope jump (shook a rope on the ground they jumped over it)
paper bag sheriff puppets (earned there badges so they could carry a gun)
shot down the Indians (gave dart riffles and they got to keep the Indians they took down)
Ate vitals (hot dogs, lumpy apple sauce, & dirt(chocolate covered raisins)
had cake and ice cream

We had a blast. What a great day. Happy birthday Seth.

Final 5 interview

“You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was.”
Abraham Lincoln


This is it. The end. He will never be five again. I told him when he got up. He better do his favorite things, he will never be five again.

Here is his final 5 Interview.

What is the best thing about being Five? "You don't grow up so fast"
What is your favorite thing to do as a five year old? "Swim"
What is your favorite food? "Meat, Mac and cheese"
Who are your best friends? "Three of you (points to dave and I and then points up to heaven, meaning Jesus)"
What is your favorite color? "Blue"
Who is your all time favorite teacher? "Mrs. Oakeson"
Who is your favorite friend at school? "Dallen" (Stuart)
Who is your favorite girl friend? "You got me there (Heehee) Niomi" (Naomi Kehl)
What do you want to be when you grow up? "Painter"
How many kids will you have? "2, cause"
What do you think heaven looks like? “White”
What does Dad do at work? “lays down tile”
Who is a person you know that seems the most like Jesus? “That lives down here? You two”
What do you think your wife will be like? “That’s a hard one, I’ll put a NO on that one... Cute”
If you were going to spend one year on a desert island and could only take three things with you, what would they be? “Cup, a lot of food, a mattress”
Who is your favorite uncle and why do you like him so much? “Cliff, cause he likes me”
What sounds and smells do you think Joseph and Mary had in the stable on Christmas night? “Shoot… Clean, No sounds”
What is the nicest thing I ever did for you? “took me to Toys R Us”
When is a time that I hurt your feelings? “Today when you wouldn’t let me get a drink”
If people Chose the right, what are some we wouldn't need? “Toys”
If you could be in a movie that you've seen, which one would it be, what character would you play? “Rattittoi, I would be Remi”
How is love at our house different than love in the movies? “The Gospel”
What is the difference between being smart and being wise? “Smart is you know a lot of things. Wise means your being nice to other people”
What is your favorite outfit? “Pajamas”
What is the hardest part about being 5? “You got me on that one, I’ll put a NO on that”
What is your favorite memory? “To much things…Going to the ice skate place, going bowling, going to Cabelas”
When you pray, how do you picture God? “Happy”
What is your favorite Scripture Story? “Nephi broke his bow.” Why do you like it? Because he tried, I like to try too.”
If you could be any animal for a day, what would you be? “Turtle, cause then I wouldn’t have to eat your kind of supper.”
If you could go in a time machine, what would you like to visit? “I’ld like to see my Great Great Grandpa… My Viking Grandpa” (Paul I Paulsen)
What is the most important choice you will ever make? “Choose the Right”


This was so much fun. Wish I had it on video. I will miss my five year old. But I bet I will love six too.

bummer of a day "to the pain"

"I had a bummer of a day," Seth said to me just now. "All because of three things, You got off the phone and looked at me mean, I couldn't find you and (Drum roll please) someone made fun of my patch." I ask, a little kid? "No someone bigger than you," he said. They said to other "big people" "Look at that kid in the patch," and then they laughed.

Wow, we are having some big learning days around here. I think...

Am I going MAD, or did the word "think" escape your lips? You were not hired for your brains, you hippopotamic land mass. The Princes Bride (Vizzini)


I think we are going to get stronger. Its amazing that sometimes as adults we say or do things we forget and they hurt someone else for a long time.




Westley: "To the pain," means the first thing you lose will be your feet below the ankles, then your hands at the wrists, next your nose.
Prince Humperdinck: And, then my tongue I suppose. I killed you too quickly the last time; a mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.
Westley: I wasn't finished. The next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by the right . . .
Prince Humperdinck: And, then my ears, I understand. Let's get on with it.
Westley: Wrong! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish, every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out: "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery, forever. The Princess Bride

The Little Nut

The great oak tree was once a little nut that held its ground.
Mrs. Miracle


Seth got his glasses today. He looks so cute. His glasses are great. I like them alot. His right eye appears bigger and bluer than ever. He has Ambliopia. His right eye has not ever focused. Today was its first time to see 20/100 vision with his new glasses.


He told me "I was not going to like them, that was my plan, so I would not have to wear them. But, I do, I like them a lot."

Tomorrow we start patch therapy 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.

I hope he, the little nut, can stand his ground on this. Build his vision and his character and grow to be a strong good person. That when he is done, he has courage and great self esteem.

It isn't difficult to make moutains out of a mole hill, just add dirt. I hope we can keep this a small mole hill.

You'll notice that a turtle only makes progress when it sticks out its neck.

Fall

The best way to get even is to forget.
-Mrs. Miracle

My Paulsen family is having a hard time and I think this quote is a good one for us to remember.

The tongue must be heavy indeed,for so few people can hold it.

To forgive is to set the prisoner free and then discover the prisoner was you.




I love fall. I just want to be outside all the time. I don't want things to change without me getting to watch. At this time of year especially I just think: How could people not believe that a God who loves us so much made this to warm our heart before the long chill of winter. I know that God made this beautiful world. I feel his spirit with me when I see the wonders he has created. Farmor, My Great, would often sing in her shaky Swedish voice,

"O Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder,Consider all the worlds Thy hands have made,I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,Thy power throughout the universe displayed!
Chorus: Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee;How great Thou art, how great Thou art.Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee;How great Thou art, how great Thou art!
When thru the woods and forest glades I wander And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees,When I look down from lofty mountain grandeur And hear the brook and feel the gentle breeze.
Chorus: Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee;How great Thou art, how great Thou art.Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee;How great Thou art, how great Thou art!
And when I think that God, His Son not sparing,Sent Him to die, I scare can take it in.That on the cross, my burden gladly bearing,He bled and died to take away my sin!
Chorus: Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee;How great Thou art, how great Thou art.Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee;How great Thou art, how great Thou art!
When Christ shall come with shout of acclamation And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart.Then I shall bow in humble adoration And there proclaim, my God, how great Thou art!
Chorus: Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee;How great Thou art, how great Thou art.Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee;How great Thou art, how great Thou art!"

She never made it all the way thru the song singing for to many tears. She passed that on also. I can't even write about it.